Now when I starting typing this blog post, it was the aim to talk about my spring reset and plans for the upcoming months, then I started typing and it has turned out to be something different, I’ve left the first two paragraphs as they are when I first started the post but the rest of the post kinda came out and I think it’s a big step as you will soon discover…….
While I didn’t get the time I personally wanted, the marathon is now done. I’m happy to have clocked up another marathon, a journey that I’ve learnt plenty of lessons from going forward. With that being said we are now into spring and time for a reset, a spring clean and a summer of track and middle distance road races.
Somethings I know I need to seriously improve upon is my diet, fueling before/during and after racing. I’m guilty of being a slave to the scales. It’s hard for a bloke to write that but my wife has made a point that I’m more worried about what the scales say then making sure that my body has the fuel to race at 110%, I think what happened at the marathon has finally set off the alarm bells and something I’m seriously going to look at and if needs be talk to the right people to get it out of my head that I’m no longer fat and over weight and that my body needs fuel!
While I do eat, if the scales says a certain weight, be it a couple of lb, I’m guilty of skipping meals and/or doing extra runs to burn weight off. If I look back at races, I think now that reason I’m not performing as well as I should is my body needs fuel, which I’ve been technically starving it off but for me I have a fear that I have to watch the scales as I don’t want to be fat again. My wife has urged me to go see someone but I’m so far reluctant and even writing this is kinda admitting to myself I may have a problem.
One thing that sticks with me is I hit some fast times on my track sessions on my track nights and I usually have had two meals before session but come race day I have a thing about making sure I’m at race weight, so from Friday on wards I’m watching what I eat and if I’m 100% honest I’m starving my body when it probably needs it most, as come race morning if scales say I’m a certain weight then in my head I already won’t PB as I’m too fat. When in truth I’m probably not but runners will know if you’ve lost your head no matter if you’ve done the training the body will just not perform on the day, thus in my mindset proving myself right. It is a bad mindset to have but even writing this I’m worried about how much I weigh, as it’s been my rest day from running, I’ve still done 30 mins on a stationary bike, some strength & conditioning exercises plus took daughter swimming. Yet having had breakfast, lunch and my tea, I’m now worried what the scales will say.
Those reading will think, get rid of the scales. Trust me Sarah has tried but I will whittle myself silly till I’ve stood on them. I’m on them every morning and every night. I won’t have a snack or drink after 7pm unless I’ve weighed myself first. If I’m not happy with what they say I will go without, most nights I will go to bed thirsty/hungry.
Having finally wrote the above I have to be honest with myself and accept I won’t perform to my full potential till I sort this issue out but I can’t shake the thought that if I’m carrying more weight it will make me a slower runner. Even since reading Racing Weight: How to Get Lean for Peak Performance. I’ve been obsessed with dropping as much weight as possible and it’s gotten to the point where it’s actually having a detrimental effect on my running and racing.
Now I’m not writing this for sympathy or as an excuse why I’ve had below par-performances. I’m writing this as it will hopefully be the first step in getting this issue sorted. I need to accept that until I start fueling and eating properly then I will never live up to my potential. It would be good to know how others especially other male runners think about your weight before races, how often do you weigh yourself? Does it matter if you are a few lbs heavy going into a race. Maybe seeing how others around me deal with their weight etc may help me to stop being obsessed with what the scales say and move forward….
Any help anyone can offer I will read but as my wife knows only I can change who I am.